Reinventing While Caregiving or Aging in Place

Director for Education and Culture for Koelsch Communities Benjamin Surmi joins Suzanne to talk about reinvention.

What about seniors who are aging in place to reinvent themselves? Benjamin say, “There’s a bit of a myth around aging in place, that aging in place means you age in a residential suburban home. Aging in place means to age wherever you will thrive. We all come from the same space that every senior should be where they will thrive, where they will be able to accomplish their purpose. Keep that in mind because it may not be in a house. Let’s say a senior says, “The thing I really care about is being a blessing to my neighbors on the street. I’ve been there for 40 years. I want to keep offering cookies to the grandkids. I wanna keep sitting on the porch and talking with my neighbors. This is where I need to be.” Well, that’s great. And the point is to identify what is my purpose in being here — because otherwise, if my purpose is just to live in my home as long as possible, what I have seen is elders will live as long as possible in their home watching “Judge Judy,” that is their whole life. Most of us look at that and go, “Oh, crap. I do not want that to be my life. But instead I can have a purpose in my head. Now, this is what I want to accomplish. This is what I want to enjoy, or share, or do, if my home and where I live supports me in that, if I can still engage in the community that matters to me, and there’s not a barrier because I can’t drive to them, then great.”

What about caregivers? They have their own purpose, then the purpose with their caregiver, and different answers for each. Benjamin provides an example of a caregiver finding a joint purpose with their mom. Perhaps they say, “This is my mom and what matters to me is us being able to go shopping and antiquing together. I’ve always done that. Well, then my caregiving plan needs to build around it. If antiquing is so hard to do because I’m keeping my mom at home until she dies, then maybe that ends up going away. Whereas if I moved her into a co-housing situation, or senior living, or some other situation that had a van that was wheelchair accessible, now me and my mom can go antiquing as often as we want.”

Learn more about Koelsch Communities at their website or call (360) 867-1900. Hear more of their podcasts at Answers for Elders.

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Answers For Elders